Chapter 022: Unworthy

After leaving the Youhuang Pavilion, Yan Lin took her for another stroll.

They visited shops selling gold and silver jewelry, rouge sachets, and even calligraphy and paintings. Whenever they saw something nice, he would always ask her, “Do you like it?” At first, Jiang Xuening didn’t notice anything unusual, but when she saw Yan Lin pick up a jade ruyi and ask her again, she began to have a faint suspicion.

The young man’s expressions were usually straightforward.

However, at this moment, he seemed reserved.

When he asked her, “Do you like it?” his eyes were smiling, but there was a hint of evasion in his gaze, as if he was hiding something he didn’t want her to discover, along with a touch of subtle shyness.

Yan Lin indeed didn’t want her to know.

Seeing that September was about to end, he counted on his fingers that October was coming soon, and then November would be his coming-of-age ceremony.

After the ceremony, they could discuss marriage.

At that time, he could go to the Jiang residence to propose, so naturally, the betrothal gifts needed to be prepared in advance. He wanted to know what Ning Ning liked and disliked. If she liked something, he would secretly buy it after today and include it in the betrothal gifts, hoping to give her a little surprise when she saw them.

The young man’s thoughts were not deeply hidden.

When Jiang Xuening didn’t notice, she could still casually say whether she liked something or not, thinking he was just asking as usual. But once she realized, saying she liked something felt inappropriate, and always saying she didn’t like something wasn’t good either.

She followed him to two more shops.

Finally, they stopped in front of a shop selling pearl and jade hairpins, and she said to Yan Lin, “I’m a bit tired.”

Yan Lin looked up and saw that she indeed looked weary.

Only then did he realize, belatedly, that he had been enjoying himself and forgot that she had to enter the palace tomorrow. He also forgot to ask if she wanted to take a break, feeling a bit guilty: “It’s all my fault, I forgot again. Anyway, we still have plenty of time in the future. When you enter the palace as a companion reader for the princess, I can come to see you. Let’s go back early today, I’ll take you home.”

Jiang Xuening had come out in a carriage.

Yan Lin was on horseback, and on the way back, he slowly followed beside her carriage.

She occasionally lifted a corner of the carriage curtain and could see the golden-red afterglow of the setting sun falling on the young man’s tall figure. His high nose bridge, the slight smile at the corner of his lips, and even his slightly fluttering eyelashes were all bathed in light. When he turned his eyes to look at her, he was both intense and dazzling.

But what welled up in her heart was a sense of bitterness.

It was almost time.

She needed to find a suitable moment to explain everything to Yan Lin.

*

After returning to the mansion, Jiang Xuening had her belongings moved out and asked someone to check the accounts to see what her parents had added for her over the years.

She didn’t have her own accounts, but the mansion did. The maids and servants who had been punished before for stealing from her were trembling with fear, thinking that the Second Miss was going to settle old scores again. Even Wang Xing’s wife was pale with fright.

Jiang Xuening simply said, “I said I wouldn’t pursue it anymore. This time, it’s not about you. Those who need to move things, move things. Those who need to check accounts, check accounts.”

Only then did the maids and servants in the room relax.

In no time, several large boxes were moved out.

Jiang Xuening then divided her valuable items into two categories according to the list she had: one side was her own, mostly gifts from the mansion; the other side was from Yan Lin over the years, which made up the majority.

She made a new account book herself, recording everything clearly.

The Yongyi Marquis Mansion was once grand and prominent, but when the emperor ordered the confiscation of the property, there was no prior warning. Even the night before, the entire mansion was still preparing for Yan Lin’s coming-of-age ceremony the next day.

So when the confiscation happened, they were completely unprepared.

All the property was confiscated and turned over to the state, thoroughly searched, and the people were directly imprisoned. Even though there were efforts outside to intercede, financial constraints and the inability to see the marquis and the heir, coupled with the discovery by the Jinyiwei that the Yongyi Marquis Mansion indeed had correspondence with the rebel party of Prince Pingnan, made the emperor furious, and no one dared to intercede for the Yongyi Marquis Mansion anymore.

In the end, considering the mansion’s past service to the country, they were spared the death penalty.

However, the exile was extremely destitute and miserable.

In the previous life, after Yan Lin returned to the court, he seemed like a completely different person, always carrying a sense of hostility and rarely smiling.

The passionate young man she remembered seemed to have never existed.

Only in the dead of night, when he lay on her bed, gently holding her hand and telling her about his experiences and feelings during his exile in the remote northwest, could Jiang Xuening feel that this was Yan Lin—

The young man who once spoke to her about the grandeur of the mountains and rivers.

But the stories he told were different: in his youth, he was the noble young marquis, dressed in fine clothes, riding spirited horses, seeing the beauty of the mountains and rivers, full of vigor and enthusiasm, with his eyes filled with brilliance and beauty; after the exile, he was no longer a noble, but a criminal, sent to a harsh and desolate place. The same mountains and rivers appeared desolate to his eyes, and his memories were filled with the harshness of the world and the fickleness of human nature.

Now, heaven had given her a chance, allowing the long river of time to flow backward, letting her see the sincere and passionate young man from her memories once again.

This deep affection, she could not repay.

But if she could let this young man remain as beautiful as he was in her memories forever, how touching would that be?

The zither that Yan Lin bought for her during the day was still placed on the desk.

Jiang Xuening looked at it quietly for a long time, then recorded it in the account book, writing in small characters, “Three thousand taels of silver.”

After writing it down, she couldn’t help but let out a bitter laugh.

Yan Lin, this guy, really spent money without blinking, trying to empty her out? This zither cost three thousand taels, but who knows how much it would depreciate when sold. That Lu Zhaoyin was a real swindler!

Lian’er and Tang’er didn’t know why she suddenly started inventorying her things again, but they remembered something and came up to say, “By the way, Miss, because you were chosen as the princess’s companion reader, Master and Madam have given you many things. This afternoon, the eldest miss also sent a set of the Four Treasures of the Study. Do you want to take a look and check them?”

Jiang Xuehui?

She looked over at Lian’er.

The set included a Huzhou brush, a Duan inkstone, pine soot ink, and a stack of Chengxintang paper, all of excellent quality.

She was silent for a moment and then said, “Just leave them there.”

*

Jiang Xuening being summoned to the palace to become the princess’s companion reader naturally caused quite a stir in the Jiang mansion. After all, she was known for being spoiled and unstudious, quite different from the eldest miss, Jiang Xuehui.

But in the end, the name on the list was hers.

Initially, the mansion had submitted the eldest miss’s name, and no one expected such an unexpected outcome.

For a while, there were all sorts of speculations: some said the palace might have made a mistake with the name; some said Jiang Xuening had ingratiated herself with the princess and used some means to have the princess cross out Jiang Xuehui’s name and give her the opportunity; others said she had gone to her father and made a fuss, forcing him to change the candidate before submitting it; and some said Jiang Xuehui’s qualifications were insufficient, so the palace didn’t choose her…

But none of these rumors reached Jiang Xuening’s ears.

She didn’t care.

She was to enter the palace early the next morning. Although Jiang Boyou and Madam Meng also found the result baffling and confusing, they still set up a meal in the evening, inviting both Jiang Xuehui and Jiang Xuening to dine together.

This was the first time Jiang Xuening saw Jiang Xuehui since the companion reader selection was finalized.

She looked the same as usual.

Still as dignified and virtuous as ever, she would even serve food to her parents during the meal. There was no sign of dissatisfaction or disappointment in her expression, as if this matter had never happened, and she hadn’t heard any rumors from outside.

Jiang Boyou was worried, not holding much hope for Jiang Xuening’s entry into the palace. He earnestly advised, “Your father is an official in the court, and his performance is decent. After you enter the palace, you don’t need to strive for anything. Just behave well, control your temper, and avoid causing trouble. Whether the princess likes you or not, or whether the teachers like you, doesn’t matter. Just get by as best as you can. Remember, observe more, speak less, and focus on your tasks.”

Jiang Xuening agreed to everything.

But she thought to herself: Starting tomorrow, she would begin learning palace etiquette. Jiang Boyou need not worry so much. If her plan to “slack off” went smoothly, she might not even pass the etiquette and aptitude tests, and could return home early.

Seeing her indifferent attitude, Jiang Boyou was genuinely concerned. He didn’t say much more but thought to himself: After court tomorrow, he would speak to Ju’an and ask him to look after her in the palace.

Madam Meng was still upset about the unexpected change in the companion reader selection. She glanced at Jiang Xuening several times during the meal, wanting to ask if she had done something behind the scenes, but Jiang Boyou signaled her not to ask.

She only gave perfunctory instructions.

After all, Jiang Boyou had already said everything, and she hadn’t spoken much to Jiang Xuening.

The meal ended around the third quarter of the hour of You (between 5:45 PM and 6:45 PM).

When they left the main hall, the mansion was already lit up.

Jiang Xuening and Jiang Xuehui left together after paying their respects, walking normally, one in front and one behind. Usually, they would walk separately without interacting.

But today, Jiang Xuening called out to her and said calmly, “I don’t like the things you sent.”

Jiang Xuehui stopped but didn’t turn around. “Then Ning, you can throw them away.”

Jiang Xuening let out a mocking laugh. “If I were you, and my name had been submitted but I was not selected, while my unstudious sister was chosen as the companion reader, I would definitely think I had been played. You’re so hypocritical, sending me writing materials. Do you think I can’t see that you also want to enter the palace?”

Jiang Xuehui finally turned to look at her.

The corridor was covered with wisteria flowers, but the flowering season had long passed, and it was now deep autumn. The flowers and leaves were withered, and the branches sparse, so the frosty white moonlight fell through the gaps in the branches, trickling down onto her.

In a simple moon-white dress, she stood there, looking both elegant and charming.

Even the mocking smile at the corner of her lips had a captivating grace.

She did not hide her joy or anger, seemingly disdainful of concealment.

Jiang Xuehui felt a bit envious and slowly said, “I want to enter the palace. What woman doesn’t love the splendor? To me, it’s not a shameful thing. But in the end, it didn’t work out, and there’s nothing to complain about. Everything has its fate. Now, it’s just that I don’t have the ability or the fate.”

Jiang Xuening had always disliked her calm demeanor when speaking. The smile on her lips gradually faded, and her voice grew more mocking: “Do you know why I didn’t like you from the moment I entered the mansion?”

Jiang Xuehui said nothing.

Jiang Xuening broke off a small, dry branch hanging from the corridor, and with a “snap” in the silent night, it was startling in a different way: “It’s not just because you’re better than me, more outstanding, and enjoyed everything that should have been mine. More importantly, for four years, you knew your own background and who your biological mother was. That person may not have the grace of raising you, but she had the grace of giving birth to you. Yet you never asked me about Wanniang, not even a word.”

Jiang Xuehui’s hands, clasped in front of her, slowly tightened. She lowered her eyes slightly, as if she had something to say.

But in the end, she said nothing.

Jiang Xuening casually threw the dry branch away and smiled at her: “Before Wanniang passed away, she held my hand and gave me the family heirloom bracelet, asking me to give it to you when I returned to the mansion. But I never gave it to you. Because I think—you don’t deserve it.”