Chapter 22: Reasons I Want To See You

During the sleepy spring and autumn season, a continuous rain persisted for half a month. Autumn in the south was short-lived, just one or two weeks, and then the temperature plummeted, entering winter in a split second.

Receiving a text message warning of a cold wave, reminding citizens to wear more clothes, it was sent officially.

Ji Zhen Tang tidied up his seasonal clothes. Her old winter bedding was worn out, so she bought a new one. For those who lived a transient life, there was nothing that could be stored for a long time. Changing residences meant changing to new things.

Her mood fluctuated, sometimes good, sometimes bad. When she felt down, she didn’t ride her bike. On the day of Ji Zhen Tang’s follow-up appointment, she took the subway to the hospital. Even during low spirits, she didn’t seem to favor the color pink and white as much.

She wore a beige cardigan, feeling a bit chilly, so she wrapped her coat tightly around her. Holding onto her medical records, the previous CT scan, and electrocardiogram, she sat alone by the door of the consultation room, waiting idly while scrolling through social media on her phone.

On her phone, Big Data, unaware of her situation, recommended a promotional video for the new personal jewelry brand, Serein.

Initially, Ji Zhen Tang wanted to ignore it and move on, but her curiosity got the better of her. Intrigued by the atmosphere of the cover story, she clicked to take a look.

Zhao Siqi had put a lot of effort into his promotional video. The cost of producing one short film could probably cover Ji Huan’s entire set of rooms. Three of the top domestic models were endorsing his upcoming jewelry brand. The video set a vintage tone for the autumn and winter seasons, showcasing several brooches, bracelets, and diamond rings designed by him.

Art is inherently abstract, with no superior or inferior, but Ji Zhen Tang didn’t quite like Zhao Siqi’s flashy style. She belonged to the minimalist school, especially when it came to the autumn and winter jewelry collections. If it were up to her, she would emphasize the unique sense of freshness and tranquility.

From her perspective, Zhao Siqi’s designs were all over the place and lacked focus.

However, her opinion didn’t matter much. As long as a brand could be marketed well and priced high enough, negative opinions would eventually be dismissed as a lack of appreciation.

Her classmate, Zhao Gongzi from the jewelry family, seemed to have a VIP pass wherever he went. With the title of heir to the family, compliments came to him from all directions.

[This brooch is stunning! Can’t wait for it to launch!]

[I heard this designer is Zhao Hang’s eldest son? Impressive, I thought his son had been sent abroad.]

[He didn’t go abroad; he studied at Qingcheng University of Design. Anyway, as long as he gets a diploma, he can take shortcuts in China with his father’s connections and launch the new brand sooner.]

[But it seems like the Zhao family isn’t doing so well now. My relatives who bought their stocks are losing money.]

[That’s why they’re pushing out his son to turn the tide quickly.]

[Is Zhao Siqi really handsome? Can someone share a picture? How old is he?]

…

Ji Zhen Tang was scrolling through the comments under this advertisement when a link to this news appeared simultaneously in the dormitory group chat.

Zhou Zhi didn’t hold back her criticism: “Seriously? This bracelet looks so tacky… I can get three for ten yuan on Pinduoduo, and they even throw in a small mirror.”

Su Yunli: Hahaha.

Lin Guixue: Hilarious, even my grandma wouldn’t pick up such cheap stall goods. The ugly child of capitalists, even the models’ temperament is severely dragged down.

Su Yunli: Can’t help it. His dad is Zhao Hang.

Zhou Zhi: Why don’t people like them go abroad? They insist on mingling with us.

Lin Guixue: Going abroad is to stay superior to their peers, to create some class differences and be dominant in front of us? Superiority complex, huh, superiority complex.

Zhou Zhi: Stop it [cracking up], I’m starting to dislike him more and more now.

Men who gossip and nitpick can resonate with many young girls. They chatted too fast for Ji Zhen Tang to keep up. She only smiled and scrolled a few times when she heard her number being called, “Ji Zhen Tang, please proceed to Room 3 for your consultation.”

Entering the consultation room and sitting down, the doctor asked about her condition.

The feeling of venting her frustrations to the doctor had disappeared. Ji Zhen Tang remained silent for a while before saying, “Can I just do the test directly, please?”

…

Half an hour later, holding the diagnosis report, she walked into the hospital elevator. Although her physical symptoms had improved significantly, the diagnosis remained unchanged. Ji Zhen Tang calmly read the words on the medical record. The elevator stopped on the third floor, and someone entered, bringing with them a faint fragrance that refreshed the mind like jasmine after rain. Ji Zhen Tang couldn’t help but glance up at the doctor in a white coat and mask, reminiscent of the term “clean and pristine”.

She stepped back slightly to make way, but heard the person speak softly, “Feeling better?”

Ji Zhen Tang was startled and looked back at her in surprise. “I’ve been okay recently, no more palpitations.” Then, even more unexpectedly, she said, “You remember me, Dr. Zhu.”

Zhu Qingying said, “I attended the celebration for the old lady of the Zhong family. You were there too.”

She paused, then smiled and said, “Yes.”

“Are you Zhong Yu Bai’s girlfriend?” She asked directly.

Ji Zhen Tang was taken aback and quickly shook her head. “No, no, how is that possible!”

“He cares a lot about your father’s situation.”

“Why?” She was even more surprised.

“Maybe because he thinks if your father gets better, you will too?”

After saying this, there was a faint smile in her eyes. “I don’t know, it’s just a guess.”

Ji Zhen Tang looked at her with mixed feelings, thinking of another person.

Finally, Zhu Qingying glanced at her thin cardigan and said, “It’s getting colder, wear more clothes, and don’t come to the hospital so often.”

She nodded gratefully. “Okay.”

On the way back to Luotang Pavilion, Ji Zhen Tang looked at the cold words on the paper, wanting to share her pent-up feelings, but didn’t know who to talk to. Opening WeChat, she had finally added Zhong Yu Bai after their last separation. For some reason, looking at Zhong Yu Bai’s name gave her a sense of security and peace of mind.

Ji Zhen Tang carefully typed a few words in the input box: I feel so sad, when will I ever grow up?

Her finger hovered over the send button, hesitating for a long time before finally sending it.

But it only took a second to withdraw it.

His kindness and concern for her were out of affection, not obligation.

Returning to reality, Ji Zhen Tang put her phone back in her pocket and rubbed her reddened knuckles from the cold.

The last straw was Ji Xinhe.

After reading her diagnosis report, her aunt put it on the table and said, “What should we do? Medication isn’t working?”

Ji Zhen Tang remained calm and said, “I’m trying to adjust. I’ve been feeling much better recently, so it should be effective.”

Ji Xinhe sighed.

“I’ll give you three words: adjust your mindset. You must adjust your attitude. I couldn’t even finish school before, I lived in a factory on the assembly line, and I’ve tasted all kinds of hardships. I really don’t understand why you young people have these emotional disorders. In short, thinking too much, doing too little. Don’t think I’m too indifferent, this is a fact.”

Ji Xinhe has been running this small shop for more than ten years. After her husband passed away, she raised her son alone. Two years ago, relying on her own abilities, she spent a large sum of money to send her only son abroad to study. In this way, she epitomizes the terms “strong” and “self-reliant.” To become strong, one must abandon the mindset of overthinking.

Ji Xinhe didn’t say many harsh words, but deep down, she probably found her somewhat affected, the kind who nitpicked on trivial matters.

No love means no love; just live well with the money you have.

If you can’t get it, you can’t get it. Why bother longing for those things? Is life unbearable without a bit of affection?

Her words were cold but reasonable.

Ji Zhen Tang tried to find a way out for herself: “I’m still young, I don’t have the insight of experienced people like you.”

Ji Xinhe replied, “How are you still young? You’re already 20. Was I still young? At 16, I didn’t go to school; I was already out there in society.”

Ji Zhen Tang was left speechless.

Ji Xinhe put on a coat and stood up. “Since you’re loafing around, a customer wants to see me. I’ll be out for a while; watch the store.”

She nodded, “Okay.”

When confiding in adults, it always ends with phrases like “Don’t overthink it,” “When I was your age,” or “You’re being overly dramatic,” and the conversation drifts away without joy.

Ji Zhen Tang felt depressed as she lay on the Eight Immortals table in the hall, tilting her head to watch the drizzling rain, which couldn’t cleanse her heart.

“Bring in the clothes, little one!” Someone called her from outside.

“I know.” Ji Zhen Tang quickly got up, went outside to retrieve the clothes hanging on the pole, two T-shirts held in her hand. As she turned to go back inside, she caught sight of a black car parked at the street corner.

She stopped and looked over.

The car was parked sideways, obscuring the license plate. In the thick mist, it seemed like a fleeting dream.

But the hand protruding from the driver’s seat window was recognizable, quite familiar indeed. The distinctively fair fingertips, now loosely holding a cigarette, with smoke dispersing in the rain, had once handed her a rose. Slim and noble, untainted by dust.

Ji Zhen Tang returned to the hall and rested her chin on her hand, blankly watching the rain.

The man had a handsome face and an elegant demeanor. Without an umbrella, he walked through the wind and rain, adding a touch of dust to his presence. His black trench coat was open, revealing a black suit vest underneath, paired with trousers and leather shoes, the standard attire for work. His shoes were also speckled with water droplets. Perhaps he forgot his umbrella and didn’t mind getting wet. His complexion remained fair and refined, with a slight curve to his lips when he saw her.

Like a character from a movie magazine, no matter how many times he appeared, she felt that his pristine nobility couldn’t blend with the damp atmosphere here.

“Little one.”

Zhong Yu Bai gently and kindly called her, “What are you doing?”

Ji Zhen Tang replied absentmindedly, “Just daydreaming.”

He stepped inside without invitation, seating himself at the square table to her left, adopting a friendly posture that was somewhat intimate. His gaze was calm and gentle as he looked at her, not assessing, just observing. Like an elder at home, yet lacking the sharpness and coercion of a parent.

Zhong Yu Bai’s demeanor reminded her of a white crane or ancient tree, an older white crane, noble but unassuming, or a younger ancient tree, mature yet not decayed.

A faint hint of bitter tobacco scent lingered on him, most of it dissipated into the chilly mist.

As Ji Zhen Tang stared out at the rain, Zhong Yu Bai leaned back in his seat, not mentioning his purpose, calmly watching her.

“Why did you sit down?” she asked.

Zhong Yu Bai replied lightly, “To keep you company.”

She smiled slightly and changed the subject, “You looked really cool today, just needed a black fedora hat to star in a gangster movie, dominating the scene.”

Zhong Yu Bai chuckled and winked, “But I still need two henchmen to serve me.”

“I value my life and don’t want to be one, let Jialing be your lead henchman. I’ll be responsible for singing the theme song on the side.” With that, she actually started singing with gusto, “Waves surge and flow, the river never stops~”

Her thoughts began to wander again as she improvised a story, “In my background music, amidst the gunfire and perilous moments, a bullet pierces the sky. Jialing rushes over to support you, Boss, are you alright?”

Ji Zhen Tang propped her chin on her hand, vividly imagining the scene in her mind.

Zhong Yu Bai listened quietly, a smile playing on his lips. As she rambled on, he quietly poured himself a cup of tea, drinking from a disposable paper cup, and when she finished speaking, he solemnly said, “Luckily, the bullet just grazed my hat. No big deal.”

Ji Zhen Tang excitedly continued, “Jialing, still trembling, shields you, Boss, you need to leave quickly, I’ll provide cover—” At this point, the song reaches its climax: “Love you, hate you, do you know? Joy and sorrow intertwined!”

Zhong Yu Bai replied calmly, “I consider you as close as my confidant; we’ll walk together.”

“Jialing looks back at you with a heavy heart, stuttering, Boss, I, I…” But before he could finish his words, a lightning bolt streaks across the sky, thud thud thud, and the episode ends. To find out what happens next, stay tuned for the next episode.”

She finished narrating the grand scene, smiling satisfactorily at him, then feeling a bit embarrassed, she pursed her lips, “I have a big craving for drama. I even joined the drama club for it. Is it too childish?”

Zhong Yu Bai indulgently smiled.

If she liked to play, he would accompany her antics, even earnestly praising, “It’s very entertaining. Have you considered turning it into a movie?”

She knew her level; she stuck out her tongue, “No way! That’s not my aim.”

After she finished, she poured herself a glass of water, took a sip, “You haven’t said why you suddenly came to see me?”

He seemed curious, shaking his head, “Everything needs a reason?” It was as if he had exhausted all his excuses.

Finally, with a hint of resignation and laziness, he added, “Why don’t you come up with one for me?”

He spoke as he lifted the teapot and poured tea for her neither hurriedly nor slowly.

She was stunned, blurting out with a confused “Ah.”

Zhong Yu Bai looked at her and continued, “You want to know the reason for seeing you.”

“…”

Ji Zhen Tang lowered her head, pondering over these words, her face turning a complicated shade of red, remaining silent for a good while.

In a very soft voice, she asked, “Did you see the messages I sent you and then retracted?”

Zhong Yu Bai didn’t answer, gazing at her for a moment, then calling out softly, “Ah Zhen.”

As she looked up, he asked seriously, “Tell me, why are you upset?”

She shook her head, unwilling to say more, “I don’t want to say. If I say it, you’ll think I’m overly sensitive like glass, indulging in self-pity, inviting trouble upon myself.”

“A heart made of glass?” Zhong Yu Bai seemed to not have heard such a saying before. He pondered silently for a moment and said, “Then I’ll hold it in my hand and listen to you.”

As he spoke, he held the cup in his palm and gestured to her, “So it won’t fall and break.”

She remained silent.

“Is that okay?”

If it weren’t for him, she wouldn’t have realized that beneath the sadness, there was a layer of grievance. If no one had told her that shedding tears wasn’t a sin, she would have thought a heart made of glass deserved to be shattered.

Ji Zhen Tang pursed her lips, as if restraining her emotions.

Zhong Yu Bai noticed the subtlety and took out a clean white handkerchief, placing it in her hand.

“Don’t cry.”

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