Chapter 32: Kiss Your Pearls

Before the New Year’s Eve, Ji Zhen Tang and Huang Xinkui had a meal together in Yangcheng. In the southern frontline city, the weather was warm, and even in winter, it wasn’t too cold to wear beautiful dresses to attend jewelry exhibitions.

At night, dining in a high-rise building, she scooped up the tender scallops in her bowl with a small spoon, accompanied by a cup of jasmine tea. Hearing Huang Xinkui say, “I saw your work online, it’s very unique.”

The praise from the fashion editor was worth a thousand pounds. Ji Zhen Tang smiled happily, “Uniqueness is surely the highest praise for artwork, thank you.”

Huang Xinkui also smiled.

“Not drinking? There’s no work tonight,” she asked Ji Zhen Tang.

She replied, “I can’t. My heart always acts up. It starts pounding whenever I drink. When I get better, I’ll definitely hang out with you, even getting drunk.”

For some people, casual talk can sound awkward, but for others, it can be charming. Huang Xinkui smiled and said, “Okay.”

There were many fashionable men and women around them, all of whom had finished viewing the exhibition and were now dining in the restaurant. The beach was crowded with people, with a cruise ship in the distance and people lying in swimsuits. Huang Xinkui looked down and said, “It’s warm in Yangcheng in winter. They say it never snows here.”

Ji Zhen Tang said, “I lived in Xingzhou when I was young. There was no winter there, it was hot all year round. So after returning to China, I suffered from illness for a long time due to acclimatization issues. I didn’t know what it felt like to snow until I was eight.”

“Xingzhou?” Huang Xinkui thought for a moment. “Mr. Zhong also studied in Xingzhou when he was young.”

She was slightly surprised, “Really? I thought he studied in Europe.”

“You didn’t know?” Huang Xinkui was also surprised. “Aren’t you his niece?”

Slipping up, she quickly remedied, “Oh, a distant one. My memory isn’t that good, and there are too many overseas students around me, so I don’t particularly remember always.”

Huang Xinkui understood.

She continued, “Then you probably don’t know he also has a business in Xingzhou.”

Ji Zhen Tang really didn’t know, but it wasn’t convenient to ask too much at this time. Otherwise, it would seem like their relationship was too superficial. So she smiled and said, “My uncle, he’s not the type to show off his achievements, nor does he talk much about these things with the younger generation at home. I’m not that interested either.”

The first sentence was false, the second was true.

Ji Zhen Tang wasn’t a businessperson, so she was curious, but she didn’t love to listen to him talk about every detail like which egg was in which basket.

However, because of Huang Xinkui’s words during this meal, she became more thoughtful.

With the known information about him, she couldn’t piece together a complete picture of his life.

She could naturally ask him, and Zhong Yu Bai probably wouldn’t hide it from her. Even if he beat around the bush, he would probably reveal some information. He was always calm and tolerant, not showing much concern about crossing boundaries with her.

Zhong Heng said he had a strong sense of guard, and she could vaguely sense it too. If you didn’t ask, he wouldn’t actively mention it. If you asked, he would carefully consider giving an explanation.

The distance he maintained was there, but he wouldn’t pull it in front of her, telling her where she couldn’t go.

She had to figure it out herself.

–

The trip to Yangcheng was quite fruitful. Huang Xinkui promised her that if her Red Jade Butterfly didn’t win the award, she would help find sponsors to market this hairpin.

Huang Xinkui also encouraged her, saying that personality was very important, whether it was in jewelry or people.

This reminded Ji Zhen Tang of what Zhong Yu Bai had said: Your characteristic is the signal for those who love you to find you.

It struck her now.

She had argued with her aunt that day, crying on the phone, and didn’t have the energy to think carefully about many things he had said. But now, sitting by the window of the black wooden railing on this snowy winter day, watching the dim lights in the vast snow vapor, despite the long neglect, they still flickered frequently, guiding the way.

She suddenly realized at that moment.

If people were mostly similar, then what someone loved about another was naturally that slight difference.

Ji Xinhe wasn’t at home today.

Ji Zhen Tang had a stuffy nose; she caught a cold.

Wrapped in the shawl Zhong Yu Bai had bought for her, she lay in bed and called him, “Mr. Zhong, my aunt isn’t home today, but I’m feeling a bit uncomfortable due to my illness. Could you come and keep me company?”

This sounds like an invitation for an affair.

Zhong Yu Bai responded somewhat casually.

She never doubted that he could come whenever she called.

The late-night Luotang Pavilion was quiet because there was no kitchen. Ji Zhen Tang sometimes cooked medicine here using the old coal stove. She wrapped herself in a down jacket and used tongs to stuff coal balls into the stove. Sitting at the table, she crossed her legs and casually picked up a poetry collection to read. She put on a mask, afraid of infecting kind-hearted people.

She brought in the wind and rain lamp, hung it weakly beside the window to provide dim light. Ji Zhen Tang didn’t like turning on the main lights; she preferred a quiet atmosphere.

Her gaze skimmed over the pages of the book, absent-mindedly. But her mind was chewing over his other words: “People our age are the most adept at finding the right remedy.”

Was he mocking her or self-deprecating? Or maybe neither, it really sounded like a truth.

Ji Zhen Tang chuckled at the thought and was about to ponder his intentions when she heard footsteps crossing the threshold.

“You’re here, old fox,” she gave up politeness and joked with him.

Zhong Yu Bai, still in his dignified black coat, with a few snowflakes on his shoulders, merely raised an eyebrow at her words, not annoyed, and walked in.

“Wow, roses!” Ji Zhen Tang glanced over and noticed the flowers he was carrying. She hurried over, bent down to smell them.

She remembered the rose he had teased her with on the plane. What did he say? Offering a bunch seemed to imply some ulterior motive.

Yet, this bunch he brought now didn’t seem to reveal any sinister intentions, more like displaying necessary courtesy.

Giving flowers to a patient didn’t sound extraordinary.

“Get well soon,” he said as soon as he entered. Even if sincere, it felt distant!

“Ice-cold,” Ji Zhen Tang mocked.

Zhong Yu Bai smiled, “Cold?”

She didn’t explain, nor did she take the flowers, but instead returned to the table and pretended to flip through the book: “Zhong Heng once gave me roses here, I hated them so much I didn’t even take them. Yours don’t seem so hateful.”

Zhong Yu Bai didn’t reply, his eyes scanning the surroundings, looking for a suitable place to put the flowers.

Ji Zhen Tang chuckled again, “Curious, do you hate it more when I mention Zhong Heng, or when I call you old? Or maybe you’re already raging inside but have to pretend to be calm because you promised to come and take care of me?”

He spotted a flower rack behind the door, where there used to be an orchid, now empty, just right for him.

As he walked over gracefully, he said, “I’m raging.”

Then calmly and thoughtfully arranged the roses.

She laughed heartily for half a minute, “Great, knowing you’re raging has already cured half of my illness.”

She took off her mask and pinched her nostrils, “Breathing easier now! Thank you.”

Zhong Yu Bai finally chuckled at her antics.

“Have you taken your medicine?” He asked as he approached her.

“I never take cold medicine,” Ji Zhen Tang pointed to the coal stove in front of her, “Could you bother to help me cook some Chinese medicine? I’m feeling really miserable today, a bit of a flare-up, my hands are hurting, can’t hold the coal balls.”

Zhong Yu Bai looked at the stove, then at her. With her ears adorned, wearing a mask and the pair of earrings K-brand gave her last time. She wasn’t wearing makeup, but when she turned her head, the pearl earrings made her look shiny and lively. But her voice was undoubtedly murmuring, unmistakably ill.

He took off his coat, hung it on the rack, then rolled up his sweater sleeves, revealing smooth lines and veins running along his long arms. He calmly added coal balls to the stove, and when he squeezed the tongs, the veins stood out vividly.

Ji Zhen Tang stared blankly, marveling inwardly, how could someone do such things with such elegance? Enigmatic character was indeed a mysterious thing, engraved in the bones, manifested in every move; it couldn’t be learned or mastered just by changing manners and appearances.

Thinking to herself, “I want to have character, I want to cultivate character,” wasn’t enough.

Perhaps it still relied on upbringing, well-nurtured.

“This stove is too old, very dangerous. If you use it again, wait for me to start the fire.” After Zhong Yu Bai finished handling it, he covered the medicine jar for her.

His words were warmer than the fire itself, and Ji Zhen Tang smiled. Unexpectedly, she asked, “Which do you think is better, Chinese or Western medicine?”

He replied without showing any bias, “One treats symptoms and eradicates diseases, the other treats the root cause and regulates body and mind.”

She persisted, “Which do you think is better?”

How could he be handed such a easily contentious question? He thought for a moment and cunningly said, “If I continue, it wouldn’t be moderate.”

Even the most ordinary question was seamlessly answered. Who could say he wasn’t a born businessman?

Ji Zhen Tang invited him to sit next to her, the square table, she sat to the east, he to the south. Leaning over, she looked at his rolled-up cuffs and said, “Can I touch your arm?”

Zhong Yu Bai also lowered his head to follow her gaze, not understanding, “My arm?”

“It looks very strong,” Ji Zhen Tang pointed to his veins.

He smiled, “I’m a man.”

Then generously extended his hand for her to touch.

Ji Zhen Tang lightly traced his forearm with her finger, “I heard you care a lot about my father.”

Zhong Yu Bai neither confirmed nor denied, but passed on some good news to her, “His business has been thriving lately, with a wide range of clients.”

If it were before, hearing this would make her happy. Ji Zhen Tang wanted to say at this moment that she had thought all of these were closely related to her, but later found out that she had thought too softly about interpersonal relationships. As if they could be manipulated, bent, and folded with just a little effort from her.

But only through experience did she understand that harmony and happiness were not that easy.

Emotions between people, after years of time, had already formed fixed states. Love and hate were not that easy.

Her thoughts dimmed, recalling various unhappiness. Her hand lightly rested on his arm, slightly absent-minded, saying, “Just before you came, I was reading a story by Eileen Chang, I want to tell you.”

Zhong Yu Bai said, “You have many stories.”

She hesitated for a moment, pouting slightly, “Are you annoyed with me?”

Understanding her meaning, he quickly changed his tune, surrendering, “No, I love to hear you talk. Please, go on.”

Ji Zhen Tang smiled.

“A female student, disguised as a wealthy lady during the war, infiltrates the side of a man with the intention of killing him. The man is a high-ranking official under Wang, seemingly tender-hearted but actually ruthless.

“The girl is pitiful, her mother passed away, her father rejected her, and those who claimed to be patriots and wanted to eliminate traitors used her as bait for their plan. Soon, she becomes the man’s lover.

“At this point in the story, one might expect that the next step would be to successfully lure him and kill him.”

Zhong Yu Bai lowered his gaze and leaned back, nodding lightly, indicating that he was listening.

“But that didn’t happen,” she continued.

“He took her to buy jewelry, a six-carat pink diamond. Although it was the perfect time to carry out the mission and everyone was in position, when he asked her to choose, he was patient and generous, saying, ‘If you like it, it’s yours.’ In that moment, she realized that there was tenderness and perhaps even a hint of love in the traitor’s eyes.

“She was captivated by love, and in that moment, she made the decision to let him go, which ultimately led to her own execution.”

Zhong Yu Bai pondered for a moment before saying, “Wang Jia Zhi, Yi Mo Cheng.”

She exclaimed in surprise, “You’ve read it!”

Then she added, “Although Wang received a lot of criticism, I understand her betrayal. The feeling of being loved is too important. If someone has been loved, even losing one’s life is worthwhile.”

She could accept a gentle execution for love, but not being coldly nurtured.

Zhong Yu Bai remarked, “It doesn’t seem like love between them.”

Ji Zhen Tang didn’t argue. “Some say Wang Jia Zhi was blinded by love. I dislike that term; it’s superficial and doesn’t encompass the longing for warmth. Their relationship may not have been love, but what made her willingly face death in the end was the glimpse of truth and brightness in life.

“It’s not about love. Truth and brightness can appear in the form of parents, friends, organizations, but in the end, it appeared in a man she shouldn’t have loved.”

She recalled a line from the book, “Every time I’m with Yi, it’s like taking a hot bath, washing away all the accumulated gloominess — I really like this sentence.”

It was as if she had met him.

Zhong Yu Bai listened calmly.

This was an annotation, related to what she said to him when she went to see him earlier: “I don’t want to be afraid anymore.”

Zhong Yu Bai understood, and she knew he did.

It was like a kind of confession from her, or perhaps it was more appropriate to describe it as a commission or instruction. Entrusting him with her vulnerability, which stemmed from her longing for warmth.

In response, he also offered her some reassurance, subtly but firmly: “You won’t become her.”

As he held her wrist, the warmth of his palm covering her wrist bones.

“Where does it hurt?” Zhong Yu Bai asked.

“Just where you’re holding,” Ji Zhen Tang replied.

He gently massaged her with his fingertips, and for a while, she didn’t speak or tell stories. The room was dimly lit, with the flickering light from the coal stove. Ji Zhen Tang closed her eyes, as if contemplating or resting. Zhong Yu Bai didn’t dare to speak too loudly, fearing it might disturb her. After a while, he asked, “Is it still hurting?”

She looked somewhat aggrieved, “Just a little.”

He smiled reassuringly, “You’ll grow wings soon.”

Hearing him say that, Ji Zhen Tang felt like crying again.

She held back her tears and quickly regained her composure.

“Hurry up and get better,” Zhong Yu Bai said.

She joked with him, “Why are you in such a hurry?”

This time, he shook his head slowly, sighing with a unyielding tone, “I just don’t want to see you in pain anymore.”

…

She wiped away the tears from her lashes and said slowly, “Zhong Yu Bai, you’ve spoiled me. Last time, I argued with auntie here and made her angry. It’s my fault; my temper has become really bad.”

He said, “If she gets angry with you again, let her contact me.”

“What can you do?”

“I’ve spoilt you; I’ll take care of it for you too. Let her come to me to settle the score instead of making things difficult for you.”

She laughed, “If you say so, Auntie will kick me out of the house.”

He also laughed, “Then you’ll have a reason to come to me, to find a new place, and there’ll be a silver lining after all the hardship.”

Ji Zhen Tang pursed her lips, quietly calming her emotions and collecting her tears back.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you wearing these earrings,” Zhong Yu Bai remarked, glancing at the pearls hanging below her ears.

She turned her head, inviting him to have a closer look, “I suddenly missed you today, so I put them on. Because the last time I wore them, it was you who put them on for me. I don’t know why, but they hold a special feeling for me.”

Zhong Yu Bai remained pensive.

As Ji Zhen Tang’s wrist was held, she felt the chill of his fingertips on her wrist bones. Suddenly, she remembered something. After finishing her sentence, she stood up, and the earring swayed lightly in the lamplight as she walked in. She continued, “Oh, I remembered I have a pair of gloves here. Let me find them for you. You can wear them when you go out later; it’s really cold outside.”

The gloves were on the top shelf of a display cabinet in the corner. Ji Zhen Tang moved a bench and climbed up to reach them.

After rummaging for a while, she finally found them.

Two woolen gloves, dusted off and patted, she happily exclaimed, “Found them!”

As she prepared to jump down from the bench, she lost her balance, and one end of the bench tipped up. Ji Zhen Tang exclaimed in surprise as she fell, but just before she hit the ground, someone caught her swiftly.

“Be careful.”

She instinctively hooked her arms around Zhong Yu Bai’s neck, and in slow motion, as in a scene from a movie, she felt the prolonged tenderness.

Yet in his eyes, seemingly slowed down, there was an unfathomable depth. Was there tenderness? In that moment when his gaze lowered, she seemed to catch a glimpse of it, a subtle desire.

Zhong Yu Bai held her lightly, using his long arms to tighten her coat, and through the fabric, he held her slender waist, maintaining this obscure embrace.

In the absence of a destined romantic background music, there was only the crackling sound of burning coal, as if the scattered remnants of affection in her heart were rolling and manifesting with each flicker.

With his eyes lowered, he suddenly leaned forward.

Though she was perfectly safe wearing a mask, she felt the urge to shout: “I have a cold today!”

Yet, the man always found unexpected ways to make her blush.

He leaned slightly forward, lowering his head to reach over her masked face. There was no intention of taking advantage, only lightly touching her earring with his lips as it swayed gently.

A fleeting, shallow kiss.

He kissed it, then smiled apologetically in her blind spot, saying, “My apologies.”

Zhong Yu Bai lifted his head, his gentle lips slowly returning to her sight.

“Just suddenly wanted to kiss your pearl,” he explained his peculiar behavior, a fleeting thought without a clear purpose, so he did it.

“…”

Ji Zhen Tang had never felt the room could be heated like this. She held onto his shoulder, feeling the warmth in his embrace and the tightness of being surrounded by his arms, hardly daring to breathe too heavily.

“But now.”

Since he had kissed her, Zhong Yu Bai declared sovereignty as if claiming an untouched territory, finally occupying it – “It’s our pearl now.”

The highest form of ambiguity lies beyond slow-motion shots; She has heard the frequency of his heartbeat, he has kissed the pearl near my ear, regardless of the past or the future, just enjoying this moment, even if only for a second, resonating souls entwined in thoughts.

The wind outside the window swept over the old books, flipping through pages, turning to a new chapter. The illuminated line in the poetry was: “Unaware if in a dream I am a guest, greedily indulging for a moment.”

Previous

Next