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Chapter 38: She Wanted To Make A Bet With Herself

With the hoarse but gentle voice of the girl, the hospital corridor was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. Everyone felt like their brains had frozen.

In fact, Shen Lei knew a little about Jiang Qi’s bipolar disorder, because the young man had previously confessed to him openly.

But the problem was, he didn’t take it seriously.

Shen Lei looked at Jiang Qi and felt that he seemed quite normal on the surface, just a bit cold and absent-minded. He thought that what Jiang Qi called “bipolar disorder” was just the depression that most young people experience nowadays, at most with a bit of irritability added, which wasn’t a big deal.

How could he know that things were so serious…

As Shen Lei listened to Zhi Qi’s narration, the heavier his heart became, until the girl finished speaking, and then his heart finally settled. After all, people’s hearts are made of emotions. He still favored Jiang Qi, whom he had brought into the circle with his own hands.

Moreover, now that it was confirmed that the man had severe bipolar disorder, which could almost constitute the degree of being diagnosed as mentally ill, the judicial process of assessing whether Jiang Qi “harmed others” could be much more lenient.

At least, those two extras who got beaten up would probably not be able to sue Jiang Qi if they knew he had a mental illness, and they might agree to a monetary compensation.

As for Qiu Heng’s side…

“Director Qiu.” Shen Lei pondered for a moment, looked at the stunned Qiu Heng, and said calmly, “Since Jiang Qi can have a doctor’s certificate proving neurological issues, the losses to the crew after issuing a statement should not be that great. Could Director Qiu be lenient and not sue Jiang Qi?”

In fact, these were all things Xiao Yongfei, the agent, should have said, but he was just stunned by what he had just heard.

At this moment, Shen Lei’s words brought Qiu Heng back to his senses, as he quickly added, “That’s right, Director Qu. Now that Jiang Qi has a medical certificate, suing is not a good choice for both sides.”

In fact, how could Qiu Heng, who was experienced in these matters, not be aware of these rules? It was just a moment of hesitation on his part.

In fact, good directors and good actors have always had a mutual understanding. It can’t be denied that during the filming of “Jiao Si” for most of the past month, Jiang Qi had brought him a lot of joy and “freshness”, and even more so, a sense of challenge.

It was precisely because of this that he was even more angry at Jiang Qi’s self-destructive behavior.

Because Qiu Heng had put too much effort into “Jiao Si”, and now all of it would go to waste because of Jiang Qi, how could he not be angry?

But now he was told that Jiang Qi was ill.

Well, sometimes there’s just a thin piece of paper between genius and madness, that’s it.

Qiu Heng sighed silently.

He didn’t mention suing Jiang Qi again, but asked, “Can he still continue filming?”

If possible, even if the film couldn’t be released or pass the censors, he still wanted to complete “Jiao Si”.

But no one answered Qiu Heng’s question, and the staircase fell into a dead silence.

No one knew which way Jiang Qi should go after this, whether Chen Ding would terminate his contract because of this incident, and the breach of contract fines for the advertisements and other notices he had already accepted…

No one knew if this young man would continue to thrive in the entertainment industry, if the name “Jiang Qi” would still exist in this arena of fame and fortune.

Gradually, everyone dispersed without making plans.

In the end, only Shen Lei, Xiao Yongfei, and Qiu Mi remained outside the ward. They glanced through the glass window at Jiang Qi and left with worried expressions.

Qiu Mi had spent months with Jiang Qi day and night, and his eyes turned red.

After silently seeing off the three of them, Zhi Qi murmured the names “Shen Lei, Xiao Yongfei, Qiu Mi” in her heart. Perhaps only these three could be considered “friends” who had a connection with Jiang Qi.

The girl stood blankly in front of the elevator for a while before turning back to the ward.

The young man lying motionless on the hospital bed had fainted due to excessive stimulation. Even in his sleep, he seemed uncomfortable, with his handsome brows slightly furrowed and his thin lips pursed.

“Jiang Qi.” Zhi Qi walked over and sat on the chair beside the bed. The girl’s soft hand held the boy’s cold fingers, murmuring his name softly.

Then, Zhi Qi leaned down gently, resting her soft chin on the boy’s hard shoulder blades, blinking her long eyelashes.

“Jiang Qi.” The girl smiled in the quiet ward, as mischievous as a cat reaching for a teasing stick, and muttered softly, “It’s finally just the two of us.”

For them, being alone was truly a luxury.

Zhi Qi felt like she might be getting sick, not just Jiang Qi.

Only then did the girl take out her phone from the pocket of her clothes. She looked at the calls from her parents, Zhi Yu, and other friends like Meng Chunyu on the screen, silently ended them, and then turned off her phone.

She didn’t want to deal with anything now. She just wanted to take care of Jiang Qi.

“Be good.” Zhi Qi lightly tapped the boy’s pale lips with her fingertip. “You will get better.”

Actually, she didn’t tell them about the aftermath of that “accident” a few years ago.

From the moment she saw Jiang Qi, who was pale as a sheet, outside the doctor’s office until he left, there was probably about five minutes. Her mind went blank, then there was a struggle between heaven and man.

At that moment, Zhi Qi had already made a decision: no matter what, she couldn’t just ignore Jiang Qi.

So the girl tightly held onto the prescription the doctor had just given her and followed the direction Jiang Qi had just left—Jiang Qi hadn’t taken the elevator; he had just walked through the safety passage.

Because her hesitation had already delayed her for a few minutes, Zhi Qi was afraid that Jiang Qi had already gone far and couldn’t be found, so she ran as fast as she could.

But the girl never expected that when she pushed open the heavy door of the safety passage, panting, she would witness a scene that would stay with her forever.

Jiang Qi didn’t leave. He sat in the corner of the emergency exit stairs, wearing the school uniform that had been partially dried by the rain, biting his arms expressionlessly.

Zhi Qi stared at him in astonishment as he gnawed on his originally fair and slender arms, which were now covered in scars, with fresh bite marks overlaying old scars, deep enough to seep blood…

“Jiang… Jiang Qi?” Zhi Qi looked at him, her voice trembling. “What are you doing?”

Jiang Qi didn’t speak, not even lifting his eyes, still numbly repeating his self-harming behavior. This was his ‘self-mutilation’. If it was this terrifying in the stairwell, how would he treat himself when he got home with tools?

Zhi Qi didn’t dare to think about it. Instinctively, she rushed over and hugged Jiang Qi’s shoulders to stop him.

“Don’t bite yourself, I beg you!” Zhi Qi’s voice was hoarse, choked up, as if she too was being tortured to the brink of collapse. “Jiang Qi, can we seek treatment?”

She knew the boy had heard everything, so she didn’t want to repeat what ‘illness’ the boy had, stimulating him and hurting him repeatedly.

But Zhi Qi wanted Jiang Qi to seek treatment.

“You go.” The boy with lowered eyes spoke coldly. “Don’t bother me.”

Zhi Qi held his icy fingers, shaking her head, her determination evident in the way she pursed her lips.

“Don’t you understand what I’m saying?” Jiang Qi raised his eyes, his pale pupils like cold amber without warmth. “Or are you not afraid I’ll hit you?”

“Jiang Qi, you don’t need to scare me.” Zhi Qi smiled. “I’m not afraid of you.”

She wanted to make a bet with herself that Jiang Qi would never harm her no matter what.

So, Zhi Qi wanted to stay by Jiang Qi’s side, to prevent him from hurting others and himself. She kept affirming her thoughts: “Let’s seek treatment, we can get better.”

However, Jiang Qi didn’t accept her affection.

“You go, I can’t control myself.” The boy withdrew his fingers from her soft grasp, indifferent, relentlessly belittling himself. “I’ve just realized that when I go crazy, there’s no difference between me and a mad dog. You go.”

“No, you’re not a dog.”

Zhi Qi half-squatted in front of Jiang Qi, looking at him. The strong girl, who had been enduring, turned red-eyed after hearing him belittle himself.

“Jiang Qi… let me tell you something.” The girl sat with the boy on the stairs, their backs against the wall, their wet clothes clinging to their bodies but not feeling cold. In the quiet corner, only Zhi Qi’s soft voice murmured:

“I remember I told you before that when I go to college, I want to major in wildlife conservation. Everyone said it was impractical, but you didn’t say that.”

Zhi Qi sniffed, seeming a bit aggrieved. “But I know it’s impractical. After graduation, it’s possible I won’t find a job. Protecting animals is definitely not something one person can do, but… but no matter how difficult it is, someone has to do it, right?”

“When I was ten years old, I went to the oceanarium with my mom to watch a ‘performance show’ featuring seals, sea lions, and dolphins. At that time, I didn’t really understand much, but I found it quite enjoyable.”

“After the show, as everyone was leaving, before we could even get out, I realized that the souvenir my mom bought for me was left inside.”

“I went back to retrieve it, and I saw the group of staff who were guiding the animals for the performance still there. They were hitting a small dolphin, and I was shocked. I overheard them saying the dolphin made a mistake in its performance and deserved to be punished, even denying it food.”

This scene was so vivid that Zhi Qi remembered it clearly after so many years.

Even in a daze, a ridiculous ‘wish’ formed in her mind. She wanted to protect them, like that hoarse and wailing little dolphin.

“Jiang Qi, you’re not some dog. You’re just… you’re just trapped.”

Zhi Qi held the cold hand of the young man again, resting her head gently on Jiang Qi’s slender shoulder, whispering softly, ‘You’re my little dolphin.’

“She would cure him, she was sure of it.”

“Whether in the past or the present, because Jiang Qi was never the kind of person who was ‘beyond help.’”

*

At sixteen, Jiang Qi’s face gradually overlapped with the present, both being pale youths lying on a sickbed.

This was the second time she had seen Jiang Qi fall ill, but was it really the second time? Or was it just the second time she had witnessed it?

Prison, isn’t it the most ruthless and brutal place? Was Jiang Qi ever so out of control in there? In the years when Jiang Qi was separated from her, in the days and nights she didn’t know about…

Zhi Qi’s eyes scanned the thin sheet covering the slender figure of the youth, and her heart suddenly skipped a beat. A bold and crazy idea flashed through the little girl’s mind, causing Zhi Qi to involuntarily hold her breath, feeling a sense of urgency.

She wanted… she wanted to see the parts of Jiang Qi’s body that she couldn’t see in her daily life.

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