Chapter 42: He Is The Only Bait

Today’s breakfast was sumptuous, prepared by the housekeeper. She wanted to eat while looking at the garden, so she sat in his usual morning reading spot and picked up a pancake from the quartz table, taking a bite.

The garden of the Zhong family was very spacious, with many types of flowers. Bathed in the spring sunshine, the plants were rejuvenated, and the flowers regained their colors.

It was truly a petit bourgeois, elegant, and tasteful morning.

Zhong Danting’s harp was still there, behind her. Ji Zhen Tang reached back and casually plucked it, producing a ding sound, causing several magpies on the eaves to fly away.

She had never really harbored resentment towards class disparities, but sitting here, it truly felt like a morning in a dream, not wanting to wake up.

Zhong Yu Bai untied the hair tie she had casually tied at the back, letting her hair fall freely. He gathered the strands with his palm, untangling a few knots. Using his fingers as a comb, he gently smoothed them out.

“I want a surprise,” Ji Zhen Tang raised her head, glanced at the man sitting beside her, and put on a look that said, ‘I’m not easily fooled.’

Seems like the tricky question was thrown back to him. It looks like men can’t just take the easy way out. After pondering for a moment, Zhong Yu Bai said, “Let me think about it.”

She didn’t press him further about his family matters.

“Is my sleeping posture not good?” she asked instead.

He recalled for a moment, smiling, “Very flexible.”

Ji Zhen Tang smiled brightly, “How did you manage to say bad things so nicely? Quick, teach me. I want to be your disciple in emotional intelligence training.”

Zhong Yu Bai smiled faintly, his demeanor and gaze both clean. Leaning back lazily, he held his coffee cup and lightly tasted the cappuccino, “And how do you know I’m thinking of something bad?”

“…”

Ji Zhen Tang was in awe of his speaking skills. She clasped her hands together, expressing admiration.

As she left that day, the sunny weather illuminated the house, which seemed like a maze, but she finally found her way out.

She asked him if he had figured out the surprise, and Zhong Yu Bai asked for some time.

Her birthday was still a while away. The watch her father gave her was according to the lunar calendar. Who celebrates birthdays according to the lunar calendar nowadays? If it’s postponed for another half a month, it would coincide with the blooming of spring flowers.

In the second semester of her junior year, her classmates were all busy preparing for their future after graduation, apart from attending classes. They were busy with their own plans to step out of the ivory tower, feeling anxious.

Ji Zhen Tang heard from Su Yunli’s call that she was going to study in the UK.

After the call ended, she hurriedly asked, “Are you going to study abroad? Exchange program or graduate school?”

Su Yunli, who claimed to be not very ambitous, seemed unenthusiastic, as if she was being forced into something she didn’t want to do. “An exchange program would be okay, but my dad wants me to go to graduate school. It’s annoying. I have to study for another two years. I just want to slack off.”

Ji Zhen Tang asked, “Is your dad forcing you to do this?”

“He controls everything. Being an only child is also very painful. You have to live under their control and follow their plans step by step.”

Ji Zhen Tang couldn’t empathize much with this kind of pain, but she tried to understand. She nodded and said, “Yeah, it’s not good to be too indifferent, but it’s also not good to be too controlling. It’s difficult for both parents and children.”

Lin Guixue said, “England is quite nice. You can see what kind of jewelry the queens wear. Even if you don’t achieve great success, you’ll gain some experience.”

Ji Zhen Tang admired her words, “Living is all about experiencing.”

Lin Guixue looked at her, “Why don’t you go then? Isn’t your dad wealthy now?”

Ji Zhen Tang felt embarrassed and replied casually, “My dad probably wouldn’t want me to study abroad.”

She was thankful that Lin Guixue didn’t inquire further about why.

Standing at a significant crossroad in life, seeing everyone around her making plans—some for studying abroad, some for work, some for graduate school—despite harboring big dreams, she hesitated about which path to take, facing the mountains she needed to climb.

One path looked glamorous, the other smooth. They both seemed fine, yet they also seemed dangerous.

During sleepless nights, Ji Zhen Tang often fantasized about having a time machine, wishing to know what her thirty-year-old self would be like.

On the afternoon when she was preparing to return to Luotang Pavilion for the weekend, Ji Zhen Tang was organizing the bookshelf and planning to bring back unused items. It was then that she found a collection of her childhood artwork.

Her childhood drawings, scenes praised by her art teacher as having talent, came to life as she flipped through the pages.

Casually looking at her childhood artwork, Ji Zhen Tang sighed, feeling that sometimes people could be trapped in certain memories. Like when she first arrived, at the alley entrance covered in heavy fog, or in this sketchbook, one particular drawing she treasured dearly—the one of her and her father watching a mermaid show at the aquarium.

She looked at it for a long time, the blue crayon filling the entire background of the deep sea. There were only two people in the audience in the drawing, her and her father, his big hand holding her small one.

She enjoyed the exclusive atmosphere and happiness between them.

From childhood till now, it was still the same.

The two stood in front of the glass window, looking at the slightly roughed-up mermaid.

This drawing, and the memories it brought, had once been her spiritual pillar.

It was as if she lived in the drawing.

So she looked at it frequently, talked about it frequently, using this bit of true happiness as evidence to support some things that probably didn’t exist.

Ji Zhen Tang smiled faintly as she looked at her innocent artwork, remembering the day she talked to Zhong Yu Bai about it. It seemed that no matter when it was mentioned, she couldn’t help but feel happy.

This was one of her few colorful memories.

She brought the sketchbook back, intending to show it to Ji Huan and let him relive past memories too.

At Luotang Pavilion, Ji Xinhe was busy with her work.

Ji Zhen Tang’s joyful mood was shattered by a single sentence from her aunt.

Ji Xinhe said, “Your dad came here a while ago and said some strange things to me.”

Ji Zhen Tang suddenly had a bad feeling. She looked at Ji Xinhe, her aunt’s body enveloped in steam from ironing, making her words seem somewhat unreal.

“He talked as if he was selling his daughter.”

Ji Zhen Tang was so shocked that she couldn’t speak. 

Shocked that Ji Huan knew about this, and shocked at his reaction.

Selling his daughter… What did that mean?

Personifying it sounded disgusting.

Was she just a pawn for his profit? But this was clearly not the same thing!

Ji Xinhe sighed, “I told him that his words were too harsh.”

She turned around, afraid that Ji Zhen Tang would be too heartbroken, and comforted her, “Men have no heart, and no guilt.”

“… “

Ji Zhen Tang collapsed into a chair, the sketchbook sliding off her lap onto the floor, spreading open to the drawing of the mermaid with the father and daughter silhouettes.

Hell is other people.

She had to learn to let go.

“It’s okay, I don’t care how he sees me.” After a long time, she finally said, as if answering, but more like consoling herself, “Being talked about is not my fault; it’s his fault—from the beginning, I mean twenty years ago.”

After Ji Zhen Tang finished speaking, she briskly walked upstairs as if nothing had happened, ignoring her sketchbook.

It was Ji Xinhe who sighed and walked over, picked up her notebook, dusted it off, and faintly heard a muffled sob.

—

Zhong Yu Bai came to pick her up the next afternoon.

Ji Zhen Tang finished getting ready and ran downstairs. Suddenly, she remembered something and hurried back, realizing that the weather had warmed up in the past few days. She wore a wine-red fitted cardigan, making her arms look slender. The V-neck design revealed her collarbone and the natural, smooth lines without any compression. A cute little round button, gleaming white and polished, held some spring colors inside.

She wore a woolen pencil skirt that covered half of her legs.

In front of the mirror, she pinned the red jade butterfly hairpin into her hair.

After Zhong Yu Bai sculpted it out for her, Ji Zhen Tang felt embarrassed and hadn’t worn it since.

Her first competition entry, being her own design, felt a bit awkward to wear so conspicuously on her head.

Today, there was a bit more red in her outfit, both in her clothes and in the beads on her light apricot-colored pumps.

So she decided to give it a try.

She pushed the hairpin into her hair, and as she moved her head, the butterfly fluttered a few steps.

Ji Zhen Tang lifted the corner of her lips in satisfaction, but her mood was not cheerful, and there was no smile in her eyes.

Soon, the bitterness returned to her lips.

She grabbed her bag and ran downstairs.

Facing the spring breeze, she arrived under the crabapple tree.

From afar, she could see the blooming weeping crabapple covering the branches.

An antique car was parked at the intersection.

A vintage Rolls-Royce from the 1960s, with a British vintage convertible Phantom, exuded an aristocratic air, like the old money families of Europe, dignified yet restrained, elegant and stylish.

Just like the man sitting in the car.

Zhong Yu Bai had a sense of style; even the arrangement of his tie concealed a deep romanticism.

The brooch on his tie today was a crabapple flower.

Ji Zhen Tang leaned closer to take a closer look and exclaimed, “Don’t tell me, this is the surprise you prepared for me.”

“Happy birthday,” Zhong Yu Bai smiled, “Spring has arrived, matching your name.”

Straight to the point, he explained the origin of his lapel pin.

The man’s hand lightly brushed against her ear.

“So romantic, thank you,” she replied.

Ji Zhen Tang was pleasantly surprised, so there was a smile on her face, but it softened because of this smile, and he stared at her for a few seconds, sensing her sadness.

“What’s wrong?” he asked softly.

“It’s nothing,” she answered lethargically, clearly holding something back.

Zhong Yu Bai looked at her, not saying anything, still waiting for her to speak up.

Ji Zhen Tang pursed her lips, her voice choked up, “It’s just… my dad seems to know.”

Zhong Yu Bai furrowed his brow slightly.

Ji Zhen Tang lowered her gaze, her sorrowful appearance making the exquisite makeup just applied seem dull, she said, “I said I didn’t care, but he still manages to hurt me.”

Zhong Yu Bai held her face in his hands, his brows knitted with concern.

“It’s my fault.”

He never said he regretted, but at this moment, he truly regretted it, shouldn’t have spoken those words to Ji Huan.

Clearly, he was the most patient person, so why couldn’t he control himself when it came to being reasonable with another man?

With no roof over the car, her mood had nowhere to hide under the abundant sunlight.

Ji Zhen Tang didn’t ask what he meant. She didn’t even feel sad enough now, not as much as before. She leaned her head down a bit, resting it on his shoulder.

“No matter how hard I try to become the person he likes, he can’t show any liking towards me. Now, not only does he not look at me properly, he also wants to hurt me, and then rub salt in the wound.”

Zhong Yu Bai took a tissue, carefully wiping away her tears.

“I’m sorry,” he said with burning guilt, feeling powerless.

Ji Zhen Tang hugged him, her nose against the jewel pin on his tie, angrily saying, “The person who should apologize hasn’t apologized, you don’t need to apologize, there’s nothing to hide in the first place.”

“There’s nothing about should or shouldn’t, it’s about him, and it’s about you too.”

Zhong Yu Bai gently played with her hair, speaking softly, “Try to widen your perspective. For example, imagine you could use your father’s surname, be his daughter, and lower yourself to him. Or you could take your mother’s surname, and have no connection to him. You could even be nameless, just be yourself.”

Ji Zhen Tang’s heart fluttered slightly, raising her head, feeling like flower petals falling on her eyelashes, sticking to them with her tears.

She blinked, letting the petals fall, listening to the hidden meanings in his words.

“You have your own mountains to climb, your own oceans to traverse, these are things he can’t see and won’t experience, but you must understand. Between you and the life, experiences that can overlap are ultimately insignificant.”

Zhong Yu Bai said, “Loving yourself is the first lesson in life.”

He made her break free from fixed ways of thinking, not to cling to the past, but to strive upwards, to think about true independence and love.

She listened, smiling, “Shouldn’t you say loving you is the first?”

“Loving me comes second,” he compromised when necessary.

Listening to him speak patiently, coaxing her gently, like a spring breeze. With a few words, Ji Zhen Tang felt a little better, she asked, “Do you really think so?”

“Whether in love or not, you are a unique individual. Those who are attracted to you will naturally appreciate everything about you, don’t change for anyone.”

Seeing her emotions stabilize a bit, Zhong Yu Bai slowly drove the car out.

Ji Zhen Tang tidied up her makeup, which had almost been ruined, and the car played blues that suited this antique car.

She muttered, “But they say, to get along with others harmoniously, there must be adjustments, and changes through experiences.”

“That’s their assumption,” Zhong Yu Bai had his own understanding, “Finding gears that fit perfectly with you is more important than adjustments, and it’s more efficient.”

Sometimes Ji Zhen Tang felt that others’ reasoning made sense, and Zhong Yu Bai’s words enlightened her from another perspective even more.

She paused, dumbfounded for a few seconds, innocently asking, “What about us, are we two compatible gears that can fit together?”

He smiled, actually with a faint expression, but she felt this smile was profound and unfathomable.

“That’s why I hope you can always maintain your characteristics, whether it’s crying uncontrollably, grinding your teeth, or being sensitive, let them all become the traces you leave in my heart, unique and irreplaceable,” Zhong Yu Bai said, summarizing, “We are the right gears.”

Ji Zhen Tang still seemed slightly puzzled, her brows furrowed lightly, “But I always feel like you’re indulging me, isn’t that so?”

“That’s also your assumption,” Zhong Yu Bai said simply without delving into explanations, temporarily avoiding her doubt.

After a while, he spoke slowly, “Beyond all social relationships and power structures, people are very simple and fragile, just a life, just a soul.”

At the red light intersection, he stopped and lightly brushed her slightly warm cheek with his knuckles, “Both you and I are.”

She smiled, “Using ‘a soul’ as a measure is really nice.”

He explained, “Be your own light.”

The destination was in the mountains and streams.

Ji Zhen Tang felt much clearer just by staying by his side, sweeping away all the unhappiness.

She looked through the windshield at the beautiful colors of spring, her shoes adorned with beautiful beads tapping along to the rhythm of the song.

In her mind, she recalled another phrase from Eileen Chang: “You are the medicine that heals me.”

This was something she could only think in her heart; it might not be the right time to say it to him.

“If it’s necessary to fit together, but what if it just doesn’t work no matter what.”

Zhong Yu Bai said, “There’s no ‘necessary,’ don’t let bad relationships hold you back.”

“You’re absolutely right,” Ji Zhen Tang exhaled a breath, instantly feeling relieved. She stretched out her arms in a big cross, “As we agreed to cheer up, I can’t let this old man ruin my mood again, that useless man who only knows how to bring trouble!” 

As she criticized, she shook her head quickly.

The hairpin on her head swayed randomly, making a tinkling sound as it collided.

He glanced at it, his eyes filled with joy.

Soon, they reached a restricted area, temporarily closed off for Miss Ji’s birthday celebration.

The gate opened for them.

“Mr. Zhong, Miss Ji,” greeted the gatekeeper with a nod.

Ji Zhen Tang was quite surprised that someone recognized her. She leaned out of the car door and waved to them, saying, “Hello.”

“When you start to anticipate, no matter how big the surprise, it will start to lose its value.”

Zhong Yu Bai stepped on the gas and headed up the slope, slowly saying, “But I still hope that today, you can enjoy the purest happiness.”

She finally understood why he was driving a convertible today.

In the serene spring scenery, she could see bright flowers blooming above her and clear flowing water below.

Between heaven and earth, flowers fell and water flowed freely. Petals covered the path, creating a colorful carpet.

“So many flowers, it feels like the sky is pink.”

She lifted her eyes and reached out to pick some. In no time, her palms were filled with pink petals.

They looked like cherry blossoms, yet also like peach blossoms. Each petal was complete and delicate.

The flowers and trees in the mountains and streams had been there for quite some time, growing tall and dense.

All the branches were swaying in the wind, spreading out under the sky, waving and cheering as if welcoming her.

Today, Ji Zhen Tang didn’t want to take any photos. She just wanted to immerse herself in this springtime moment that belonged to her.

Suddenly, her heart was filled with emotion.

In the long-lasting “shower of flowers,” amidst the winding mountain roads, she was soaked with fragrance.

One cannot hold onto spring, but one can hold onto the feelings it brings.

At this moment, there were only the two of them in their own world. She closed her eyes, feeling the purest and most sincere flavor of life.

Ji Zhen Tang raised her head, letting the petals fall onto her delicate eyelids.

As the car spiraled upward, the ends of her hair danced in the wind like butterflies.

“Can I stand up?” She couldn’t contain the excitement in her heart.

Zhong Yu Bai said, “It’s all yours, feel free.”

Ji Zhen Tang stood up, spreading her arms. Fragments of petals fell onto her shoulders and wrists. With a wing-like posture, she welcomed the vast blue sky and the beautiful scene of flowers reflected upon her.

Real butterflies flew from the branches, sparsely fluttering around their car.

They felt like trespassers in a fairyland, yet also like masters of the universe.

At least for this moment, Ji Zhen Tang truly felt that spring was made for her.

“What a romantic shower of flowers! So beautiful!”

The flying petals above her head seemed to be falling for her, adorning her body, decorating her, and gently caressing her scars.

She thought of Shakespeare, of humans as the pinnacle of all things, of the supreme romanticism.

One life, one soul.

She experienced true emptiness and freedom.

As she marveled at the breathtaking scenery, tears uncontrollably filled her eyes. Two crystal-clear tears flowed down her cheeks, warm and comforting. She didn’t want to wipe them away, letting them flow freely, she raised her head and shouted to the sky, “Ji Zhen Tang, happy birthday!”

“May you always be happy!”

Why sigh for the eternal detachment from the world, fear the ephemeral nature of life like a dream? No matter how many worries and fears, they couldn’t resist the fact that she was the pinnacle of all things. With just one sentence, “you are the pinnacle of all things,” she was brought back, back to this scarred world, to show her the eternal spring here.

To make her willingly stay, he was the only bait.

And in this long and boundless springtime, she completed the ritual of breaking free from her cocoon.

Someone rescued the child trapped in the past, allowing the gates of the amusement park to open for her.

Behind this gate, she seemed to hear a voice responding: “Feel it to the fullest, you are born passionate.”

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