Chapter 53: Consideration

The flight was scheduled for 2 p.m. the next day. Jiang Nai and Li Qingji appeared at the airport, accompanied by Chen Min. With time before takeoff, Jiang Nai sat quietly in the waiting lounge, gazing out the window. 

Li Qingji stood nearby, taking several calls, the last one to give Zhao Siyuan instructions. When he was done, he came back to sit beside Jiang Nai.

“I said it yesterday; I can go alone. You don’t have to come with me.” Jiang Nai’s voice was low, with a hint of strain as if it could barely break through.

Li Qingji replied, “There will be a lot of paperwork to handle in order to bring her back to China. I can help you with that. Besides, she was your mother. I should go with you.”

Jiang Nai’s hand lightly clenched her pant leg. “But you’re busy lately. I don’t want to hold you up. If you’re truly worried, just let Sister Chen Min accompany me; that would be enough.”

“I’ve said it before. She was your mother, and that makes her mine too,” Li Qingji replied firmly. “Jiang Nai, this is my duty and responsibility.”

Jiang Nai lowered her head, staying quiet. After a while, she murmured, “Thank you.”

Li Qingji frowned. “You don’t need to thank me.”

The journey took more than ten hours, eventually bringing them to Zurich. With a six-hour time difference between the two countries, they arrived late at night local time.

Chen Min had arranged a car and hotel, and they checked in to rest.

The following day, they first visited the nursing home where Jiang Nai’s mother had stayed before her passing. Jiang Nai wanted to understand her mother’s condition during her time there. When the nurses understood Jiang Nai’s purpose, they verified her identity and then brought out a mobile phone, saying it had been left behind by her mother.

After handing over her mother’s belongings, the nurse also shared details about her mother’s life there in recent years. She explained that her mother had passed away last year from a sudden heart attack—just one week before Jiang Nai and Li Qingji registered their marriage.

The nurse mentioned that her mother was typically very quiet, rarely going out and often lost in thought. The thing she did most frequently was to hold her phone and listen to the voice messages repeatedly…

Jiang Nai knew those voice messages were from her. When she was studying abroad, she would often tell her mother about her studies and life. Later, when she returned to China, she shared work-related details. After learning this, Jiang Nai took the phone and thanked the nurse.

On the way to where her mother’s ashes were kept, Jiang Nai turned on her mother’s phone. There wasn’t much on it; most of the storage was filled with photos.

Nearly all the photos were related to her—pictures of everyday life she’d sent, graduation photos, and images of her through different stages of her life: infancy, elementary school, middle school…

Unexpectedly, there were also a few photos of her father. Some were family photos; others showed her father holding her as a baby or her parents holding hands, looking happy…

The photos were low-resolution, worn by time and handling. Jiang Nai’s eyes stung, a prickling sensation growing. She quickly put the phone back into her bag without looking further.

They soon arrived at the funeral company.

In Switzerland, many people choose natural burials, where ashes are scattered in forests or lakes, allowing the deceased to return to nature. What relieved Jiang Nai the most was that the Jiang family hadn’t opted for such a burial. Instead, her mother’s ashes were temporarily preserved.

This meant she could still bring her mother home…

From retrieving the belongings at the nursing home to finalizing paperwork at the funeral company and finally returning to China, Jiang Nai remained silent. She didn’t cry; her eyes didn’t even redden. Back in Minghai, she immediately began searching for a burial plot. Li Qingji, observing her tireless pace, noticed she had barely slept. She seemed to be numbing herself, refusing help, handling everything on her own.

All he could do was stay by her side, offering occasional suggestions.

Eventually, Jiang Nai chose a cemetery in Minghai for her mother’s final resting place. The location was ideal, with beautiful surroundings, though it came at a high price. She emptied her savings from all her years of work, even charging her credit card.

“It’s a pity I couldn’t let you use the money I earned while you were alive.” Jiang Nai stood before her mother’s tombstone, her eyes finally turning red from the relentless days of work.

Staring at the youthful photo on the tombstone, she finally spoke, her voice choked, “Mom, you really were too cruel…”

She was thinking about her, but her mother had to erase herself from her life, leaving not even a letter or a single word behind. She left lightly, leaving her all alone. She abandoned her.

That day, Jiang Nai stayed at the cemetery for a long time.

Li Qingji accompanied her, staying by her side until the night approached and then took her away. Her eyes were swollen from crying, and when he helped her into the car, she was quiet, like a lifeless porcelain doll. Li Qingji’s heart felt heavy, not knowing how to comfort her. He could only take her home, wipe her face clean, and soothe her as she lay down in bed.

“Jiang Nai, sleep well. Your mother wouldn’t want to see you like this.”

Jiang Nai curled up in his arms, saying nothing. After a long time, just when he thought she had fallen asleep, she suddenly spoke up, “Then what did she want to see me as… still the glamorous Miss Jiang?”

Li Qingji replied, “She would want you to be happy. If she saw how sad you are, how you’ve been arguing with them, she would understand. All she wants is for you to be happy.”

Jiang Nai looked up at him, “Happy… so I can just do whatever I want to make myself happy?”

Li Qingji responded, “Yes.”

“Then, would you still like me?”

Li Qingji’s heart tightened, unsure of what she meant. He frowned and said, “Of course.”

Jiang Nai stared at him for a moment before saying nothing further. She curled back into his arms, closing her eyes quietly.

—

In the days following the funeral, Jiang Nai didn’t go to work.

Yao Qi and the others had no idea what had happened. They messaged her, but there was no reply. Just when everyone thought she might resign, Jiang Nai suddenly showed up at work one morning.

Yao Qi was particularly surprised when she saw her. “You’re here! You scared me, I thought you weren’t coming back!”

Jiang Nai said, “Sorry, something urgent happened at home last week. I apologize for the work issues.”

“Everything has already been reassigned by Liu Nian, so it’s no trouble,” Yao Qi said. “What happened at home?”

Jiang Nai paused for a few seconds before saying, “My mother passed away.”

Yao Qi was stunned for a moment. “…My condolences.”

Jiang Nai shook her head faintly and said, “I can continue my previous work so that it’s easier for everyone.”

Yao Qi looked at her with concern. “Jiang Nai, if you’re not ready yet, you can take some more time off. Everyone understands.”

“I’ve rested enough,” Jiang Nai took a deep breath and murmured, “If I keep resting, my mom won’t come back.”

Yao Qi hesitated, “But you…”

“It’s okay, Yao Qi, I’m fine.”

Yao Qi was silent for a moment, then patted her shoulder lightly. “Well then, let’s have a short meeting and hand over the tasks.”

“Okay.”

In the days after returning from Switzerland, Jiang Nai numbed herself with the busyness of handling funeral matters. Later, when she accepted the fact that her mother had passed away, she tried to use work to numb herself… and to remind herself.

This job was her only thing, the only thing she could hold firmly in her hands. They all said that without the Jiang family’s halo, she would be nothing.

No, she was still herself.

She didn’t have the Jiang family; she wasn’t the Jiang family’s eldest daughter, but she could still be fine.

“Jiang Nai, it’s time to go, you should leave work early,” Wang Wenbo passed by her desk and said.

Jiang Nai nodded. “Okay.”

But for the past week, Jiang Nai had been staying late at work every day. Sometimes, even after finishing her tasks, she didn’t leave early. She was filling every minute with work, also… considering and avoiding something. 

Ding ding—

Suddenly, her phone rang.

Jiang Nai glanced at it, paused for a moment, and then answered, “Jiang Nai, your grandfather’s birthday is the day after tomorrow. Many people will be attending, and it will be at Defeng Hotel. You must appear with Qingji.”

It was said so nonchalantly, as if nothing had happened. Jiang Nai felt a mix of sadness and irony.

“I’m not going.”

Her grandmother paused on the other end and then said, “We know you brought your mother’s ashes back to the country. We didn’t stop you. What you said at home before—apologize to your grandfather, soften your attitude, and he will forgive you.”

“Forgive me?” Jiang Nai leaned back and let out a faint laugh. “Isn’t it supposed to be me forgiving you? Why has it become the other way around? You said you didn’t stop me, but she’s already dead… of course, you won’t stop me now.”

“Jiang Nai! Is this how you really want to sever ties with the Jiang family?”

“Didn’t he say it last time?” Jiang Nai replied. “He said that if I ever left the Jiang family, I should never return. When I left, I truly thought that way.”

Without waiting for the person on the other end to speak, Jiang Nai hung up the phone.

She was exhausted, and she had had enough. After sitting at her desk for a long time, she finally heard the distant sound of the elevator reaching her floor. Jiang Nai packed up her computer and bag, preparing to leave.

At that moment, she saw Li Qingji walking toward her from a distance. At this hour, there were still a few people working late in the company, and Li Qingji’s appearance drew all their attention.

“Are you ready?” he asked, ignoring the gazes around him, and walked over to her desk.

Jiang Nai asked, “What are you doing here?”

Perhaps because he had accompanied her to Switzerland to handle her mother’s affairs and had been running around ever since, there were many tasks piling up for him too. This week, he had been extremely busy, so Jiang Nai hadn’t expected him to show up here.

Li Qingji replied, “I know you’re still at the office, so I came to take you home.”

Jiang Nai looked at him for a moment before murmuring an “Mm.”

They walked side by side toward the elevator. When they reached the parking garage and got into the car, Jiang Nai suddenly spoke, “Grandfather’s big birthday is the day after tomorrow. You know about it, right?”

Li Qingji glanced at her and already knew who she was referring to: “Mm.”

“A lot of people will come, and your family will surely be on the invitation list,” Jiang Nai said. “But I don’t want to go that day.”

Li Qingji was silent for a moment before nodding, “Alright.”

He hadn’t heard the entire argument, but by the time he reached the door, he had overheard their final conversation.  He knew that her relationship with the Jiang family was irreparable, and he was aware that her mother’s issue had become an emotional barrier for her. So, he wouldn’t force her to attend certain occasions with him at this moment.

Li Qingji took her hand gently and said, “If you don’t want to go, then don’t. You’ve been very busy lately, just rest at home on Sunday.”

Zhao Siyuan, who was driving in front, glanced at the rearview mirror upon hearing this and furrowed his brow slightly.

—

On the day of Jiang Yuantao’s birthday, the Defeng Hotel’s conference hall had been lavishly decorated with golden and jeweled accents early in the morning. Cars were constantly coming and going, with luxury vehicles filling the parking lot. Tonight’s event would be attended by the rich and powerful, including high-ranking individuals from both political and business circles.

Jiang Nai didn’t go, but even though she wasn’t there, she knew how grand the occasion would be.

This would have been her and Li Qingji’s first time publicly appearing at such a prestigious event since getting their marriage certificate, almost like an announcement that the Jiang and Li families were now even closer, thriving together.

But she had ruined that performance.

At six o’clock in the evening, Jiang Nai sat in the living room, the light dim and the TV screen showing a slow-paced variety show. Soon, her phone rang. It was a call from Li Qingji’s mother, Fang Shuying. Jiang Nai looked at the caller ID, hesitated for a few seconds, then answered.

“Hello?”

“Nai Nai, has Qingji gone home yet?” Fang Shuying asked.

Jiang Nai replied, “No, he’s not home.”

“He left earlier, and the event hasn’t even started. What is he doing? I called him, but he didn’t pick up. Could you call him and tell him to come back? Or if you’re feeling fine, come back with him. It’s your grandfather’s birthday today; the two of you should really attend together.” Fang Shuying paused for a moment and then asked, “Just now, he said you didn’t come because you’re not feeling well. Is that true?”

Jiang Nai bent her legs and rested her chin on her knee without speaking.

Fang Shuying continued, “I heard your sister mention something about your family earlier. Jiang Nai, there’s really no need to have such a bad relationship with your family. The deceased are gone, we have to focus on the living. You know, Qingji and his second brother are at odds, fighting over who will take control of Hengchuan. All the board members are watching, waiting to see who will end up with the company. Li Zhixun wants to form an alliance with the Zhao family, and we also need a strong ally. Your wedding is approaching, so tonight would be a good opportunity to attend together.”

…

The variety show on TV had ended and automatically switched to the next episode. Jiang Nai looked at the screen but couldn’t focus on anything.

Ding—

A sound came from the front door, signaling that someone had arrived. Jiang Nai didn’t look over; she knew it was Li Qingji returning.

“Why are the lights off?” From the corner of her eye, his figure drew closer.

Jiang Nai replied, “I was watching TV. Why are you back so early?”

Li Qingji sat down next to her. “There’s nothing to stay for.”

“Why not? There are many people there tonight who could be useful to you. You should connect with them more—they’ll be of use to you in the future.”

Li Qingji furrowed his brows slightly. “Why are you saying this?”

“Because I’m no longer useful to you.”

Li Qingji asked, “What?”

Jiang Nai looked at him, as if she had been thinking about this for a long time and was finally ready to speak. “Li Qingji, I don’t want to go back to the Jiang family. I don’t want to be that Jiang family’s eldest daughter anymore. I don’t want any more ties to them. But I know, for you, status is important. If I weren’t Jiang Nai from the Jiang family, I wouldn’t be your wife.”

She took a deep breath, her face calm, but her eyes trembled. “I’ve repaid everything I owed to the Jiang family. I don’t want to build any more bridges for their benefit. I don’t want to be used anymore. So, I can’t help you any longer… I… I can divorce you.”

“Divorce?” Li Qingji’s mind rang with a dull sound, and for a moment, he doubted if he had heard her correctly. “Do you even know what you’re saying?”

Jiang Nai stared at the TV screen, a cold sensation spreading in her chest, as though the sharp chill was causing her pain. “I know. We don’t have children. You can find someone else who’s more suitable and who can help you. I know there will be many people who want to marry you, it won’t be hard. Don’t worry, I won’t take anything from you…”

“Jiang Nai!” Li Qingji’s face darkened completely. “Don’t even think about it. Divorce is absolutely impossible!”

Li Qingji tightly gripped her wrist, then, after a pause, softened his voice. “I know your mood has been bad lately, and your thoughts are all over the place, but calm down.”

“If I leave the Jiang family, I’ll just be an ordinary person,” Jiang Nai’s eyes reddened, and she finally looked at him. “I asked you before, if I were an ordinary person, would you still be with me? You didn’t answer me then. Li Qingji, I know your choice, and I know what’s most important to people like you and Lu Feng. I won’t blame you… and I hope you won’t blame me. We just need to walk different paths.”

Li Qingji looked at her, and it felt as though a heavy stone had suddenly pressed down on his chest, making it hard to breathe.

He took a deep breath and, still trying to stay rational, said, “I didn’t answer you before because that question didn’t exist at that time.”

“Now it does,” Jiang Nai said. “I don’t want to be used by them. I know this kind of use is normal for you, it’s no big deal—emotions… what are emotions in the face of benefits, right? But I can’t, I can’t mix the two.”

“What do you mean by ‘normal’ for us?”

Jiang Nai looked at him, feeling pain and fear at the words she was about to say. She was digging into the suppressed emotions and knots that had been ignored for so long.

“Isn’t it true? You like me, but you can also use me to gain some favor in front of Joseph. When we were in the US, you didn’t truly and purely want to bring me along. In the matter of Lin Hui and Lu Feng, you could easily understand and make a quick decision. Emotions are just an accessory to career and family in your world’s logic. Now that our relationship can no longer serve as an accessory to your career, you can choose to give up on me. I won’t mind.”

Li Qingji had never considered how things would be if Jiang Nai wasn’t the Jiang Nai he knew. Just like he never considered whether he would ever be with an ordinary person.

For his past self, such a question never needed thinking—his answer would have been “no.”

Because he had never valued emotions. He only cared about benefits, about cooperation.

For him, a marriage partner was just that—a marriage partner.

But now, Jiang Nai asked him this question. He looked at her, and only then did he realize why she had been distant after they returned from the ski resort in the US. It wasn’t because of Pei Xuan’s appearance; it was because she was upset about his emotional insincerity.

What seemed like no conflict to him, had become a huge obstacle for her. Li Qingji’s temples throbbed fiercely, and he couldn’t even defend his past actions.

He looked at her for a long time before finally saying, “No matter what, Jiang Nai, divorce is not an option.”

Jiang Nai said softly, “Think it over again.”

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