Chapter 35: Endure

There was a time when Jiang Se particularly despised being touched by others.

Even when Cen Li patted her head, she couldn’t stand it.

No one noticed her odd behavior. She always managed to hide her emotions well.

During that period, her mood was extremely bad.

Until that day, Cen Li’s birthday, when she went downstairs and took a photo with Lu Huaiyan.

It was a sunny day, the sky was very blue, and the wind was gentle, carrying the warm, late-spring air and his subtle fragrance of incense into her breath.

She stood beside him, her arm lightly brushing against the back of his hand.

In that moment, she didn’t feel disgusted at all.

In fact, she felt at ease, even a little reluctant.

Because it reminded her of that rainy night, when his wet palms tightly held her arm and knee.

The warm, powerful touch.

She seemed to have found a way to heal that sense of disgust, she thought.

When she looked at him from the side, her dim eyes were illuminated by the light. The camera clicked, freezing that moment of them in a thin photo.

In that moment, the light above them was like the sunlight from that afternoon.

And the back of the hand she had touched felt like a pure white jade fan, with blue veins winding like emerald, the warmth of his palm hotter than on that rainy night.

Jiang Se pressed her hands on her coat, lowering her gaze to his hand, her eyelashes like the wings of a dying butterfly.

It was as though she had returned to the rollercoaster ride at seventeen, with intense light drifting over the Manhattan skyline.

Her body instantly tensed, like a bow pulled to its limit.

But every part of his body felt like a knife. As her soul was pulled high into the sky and began to fall, a soft knife severed the bowstring.

Lu Huaiyan raised his body, his sharply defined hand forcefully gripping the back of her head.

Jiang Se knew what he wanted to do.

Unlike last time in the closet, she didn’t avoid him. Instead, she actively parted her lips, letting his tongue slip inside.

This time, he was different. He lacked the same calmness and ease as before. As he entangled with her, Jiang Se could almost hear the urgency flowing through his veins.

The suffocating kiss paused for a brief moment, and he pressed his lips against hers, staring at her with darkened eyes as he hoarsely asked, “Shall we continue?”

Jiang Se swallowed and whispered, “Continue.”

He picked her up and carried her toward the bedroom. As they entered, he pressed his palm hard against the wall, and the dim room lit up in an instant.

The blackout curtains in the bedroom were wide open, and outside the glass windows, the night was growing darker, with snow gently falling.

Lu Huaiyan opened the bedside drawer to grab something.

He fixed his gaze on her eyes, his voice hoarse and cold, like hard iron: “Look at me.”

Jiang Se’s beautiful almond-shaped eyes slowly filled with a shimmering mist, and in that mist, there was clearly an uncontrollable pain.

But she wouldn’t allow him to stop.

Lu Huaiyan quietly watched her.

He wondered how this girl could be so stubborn. Even now, she wouldn’t let him retreat even a little.

She insisted on pushing herself to the edge.

He didn’t continue. One elbow propped against the side of her face, and with his other hand, he gently caressed her soft face. He pressed his fingers against her teeth, gently parting her lips, and lowered his head to kiss her.

The soft, wet sound of their kiss echoed, like gentle waves in the dark night—coming and going, sometimes rising, sometimes soft, occasionally passionate, occasionally lingering.

Jiang Se’s eyes filled with more mist, the air growing thinner, and her mind gradually turning blank.

It was at that moment that he spoke heavily, “Endure.”

Everything that came after felt particularly long.

His gaze remained fixed on the depths of her eyes, his handsome, stern brows almost domineeringly pressing into her pupils.

She trembled as she gazed back at him.

At some point, she wanted to close her eyes, but he used his moist tongue to gently lick her eyelashes open.

“I want to watch.” He stared into her pitch-black pupils. “Se Se, I want to watch.”

—

The clouds cleared, and the rain stopped.

Jiang Se was so exhausted that she didn’t want to say anything, only wanting to close her eyes and sleep.

Lu Huaiyan glanced at the sheets, then pulled her out of the blanket.

Jiang Se: “…………”

She cracked open her eyelids, gazing at the man who was still full of energy, and opened her lips slightly: “Lu Huaiyan—”

The man seemed to have guessed what she wanted to say. He lowered his gaze at her and said, “With the sheets soaked like that, are you sure you can sleep? I’ll take you to the bathroom to clean up, then we can switch rooms. Just close your eyes and rest.”

He didn’t say anything earlier, but now that he had, Jiang Se’s sense of cleanliness kicked in again, so she had no choice but to let him handle it.

Entering the bathroom, he placed her on his lap, holding her with one arm while turning on the bathtub’s faucet to fill it with water.

When the water had nearly filled the tub, Lu Huaiyan carried her into the water.

The water quickly filled the tub, rising as they settled in.

Although it was his first time serving her in such a way, his movements weren’t at all unfamiliar. As the warm water rose, Jiang Se rested her head on his shoulder, feeling as if she were a leaf gently stretching in the breeze.

She opened her eyelids just slightly, and in her line of sight, the man’s long hand submerged in the water, gently wiping along her body with a white towel soaked in water, each movement tender.

Her thoughts scattered aimlessly.

She recalled the scene from seven years ago, when his hands were wet as he held her. When he had placed her in the car, he originally intended to put her in the back seat alone, but she refused, gripping his shirt tightly and refusing to get off him.

At that time, she hadn’t eaten for days, and her left pinky had been injured, sending pain through her entire body. Despite the trembling pain, she had somehow found the strength to clutch his collar tightly, almost as though she wanted to undo all his buttons.

He had glanced at her indifferently, but in the end, he didn’t push her away. He let her curl up in his arms but didn’t hold her again. His hands just loosely rested on the seat.

The heavy rain pounded on the car roof, the car jolted, and the dim, cramped space was illuminated by flickering neon lights.

In her ears, his steady heartbeat replaced the sound of the rain, occupying all her senses.

Occasionally, when she raised her eyes, she caught a glimpse of the slight, almost imperceptible tightening of his lips, which seemed to show restraint.

The water in the bathtub surged again, and Jiang Se came back to her senses. She lifted her eyes, meeting his gaze, which had unknowingly fallen upon her.

“Didn’t you feel tired? What were you thinking?”

The rising white steam in the bathtub seemed to have seeped into her thoughts. Without realizing it, Jiang Se obediently spoke the thought that was swirling in her mind.

“You were really cold back then.” She said lightly. “If I hadn’t grabbed your shirt…”

At this point, as if realizing what she had just said, she pressed her lips together, and her words abruptly stopped.

But Lu Huaiyan understood. In that instant, he realized she was referring to seven years ago.

Cold? Perhaps it could be considered that way.

Back then, he had not slept for two days and nights due to a project. A phone call from his grandfather had summoned him back to the family estate, where he had to follow Mo Xian to find someone. During the more than twenty hours Jiang Se had been missing, he and Mo Xian hadn’t dared waste a single second.

After what felt like days of continuous searching, when they finally found her, all he wanted was to quickly return to the old man and report back, so he could finally get some sleep.

Once she was sent to the hospital, as soon as the Cen family arrived, he left, and he didn’t inquire about her condition afterward.

Now, looking back, if he had known—

The thought passed through Lu Huaiyan’s mind, and he couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh.

He never looked back on what had already happened, nor did he regret it. He certainly wouldn’t entertain a meaningless “what if he had known.”

He wrung out the towel in his hand, then placed his hands on her waist, turning her around so she was facing him. As he gently wiped the water droplets from her face, he spoke slowly, “I was pretty cold back then. Should I take a few hits for you, let you vent your frustration on me?”

He dropped the towel and lowered his head to look into her eyes. “Should I let you bite a mark into my tongue like last time? Or you can use that razor to poke a spot you don’t like? I can take it, I’ll endure. How about it?”

He wasn’t joking. This girl held grudges, and he had to let her get it off her chest.

Jiang Se: “………”

She ignored his insane suggestion and pushed lightly on his shoulders with both hands. “You’re in my way.”

Lu Huaiyan chuckled lightly. “What are you afraid of? I’m not going to do anything here.”

He had been holding back for her earlier, but now, face-to-face in the bathtub, it was hard not to feel distracted.

Jiang Se had been looking down, but at his words, she lifted her eyes to meet his and replied, “I’m not afraid.”

Lu Huaiyan continued to smile.

This girl really couldn’t be provoked. If he teased her again, she might just hold onto him and drag him into another round here.

But his self-restraint right now was as fragile as paper; it couldn’t withstand even the slightest temptation. Naturally, they couldn’t stay here much longer.

He held her waist, gently turned her around, and they switched places. Jiang Se’s back rested against the edge of the bathtub.

“You’re not afraid, but am I? I’ll go get you some clothes,” he said as he stood up. Water droplets slid down his smooth, sculpted muscles as he moved.

“…”

He grabbed a bathrobe from the side, casually threw it on, and went out to get her a nightgown.

Jiang Se took a moment to recover and, feeling a bit more strength in her body, decided to get out of the bathtub. She grabbed a towel hanging on the wall and wrapped it around herself before stepping out.

Just as her feet touched the ground, her legs suddenly weakened. She nearly stumbled back into the bathtub, but a strong arm caught her around the waist just in time.

Lu Huaiyan held her up, letting out a low chuckle. “I told you to wait. Did you forget how your legs were shaking in bed earlier?”

Jiang Se shot him a glance, too lazy to respond. She struggled slightly, trying to get down. “I can walk on my own.”

He didn’t let go. With a few swift steps, he carried her back to the room she had slept in last night and, when he set her down, asked, “Do you need any medicine?”

Understanding what he meant, Jiang Se lowered her eyes, took the nightgown from his hand, and slowly began putting it on. As she did, she said, “I’m not that fragile.”

Lu Huaiyan sat down beside the bed, his finger gently tracing a mark on her collarbone. “Has Aunt Zhang never mentioned that your skin is too delicate?”

Her skin was indeed delicate, but hadn’t he used a considerable amount of strength just now?

Jiang Se crawled into the bed, staring at him intently as she said, “But no one has ever grabbed my flesh and sucked on it like you.”

Lu Huaiyan lowered his gaze to meet hers, then suddenly smiled. “Has Fu Yun never kissed you?”

Jiang Se froze. “Why are you bringing him up?”

Why bring him up?

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